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Feb 26 2014

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The Definitive Political Apology Poem

You’ve heard them all, or have you?

The folks at Esquire magazine posted a stylized poem containing some of the best political apologies ever made by elects in various stages of disgrace and it’s great. Some of the gems include atonement from: Mark Sanford, Richard Nixon, John Edward, Bill Clinton, John Ensign, Mark Souder, Jim McGreevey, Eric Massa, Chuck Robb, Wayne Hays, Chris Christie, Eliot Spitzer, Newt Gingrich, Anthony Weiner and Larry Craig. Can you guess who said what?

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This was a love story. A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day

I was described as struggling to free myself from the morass

I was honest in every painful detail

There’s nothing going on between us

 

I do not deserve a woman like her

I do not have any sort of ‘normal’ life

Were there realities from which I was running? Which master was I trying to serve? I do not believe that God tortures any person simply for its own sake

I own this reality

 

For a period of time in Virginia Beach, I let my guard down

I’m not guilty of anything except for a little damn foolishness

The emotion that I’ve been displaying in private is sad

There is no greater agony

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall

Marianne and I are tired. We need time off to get to know each other again

I was an imperfect messenger

Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn’t breathe, and then four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday

 

I have brought a cloud over Idaho

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